This will be my longest blog post thus far. I know you’re thinking girl! This is just your third!
So, today I went for a washroom break in the middle of an extremely busy day!!! All done. Trying to make sure my face still looked ok. Fixing my hair (yup! issa wig!) to make sure the closure part was still in place before heading back to my next meeting.
My mind took me back to a period last year when I found myself in hospital for a few days. Lawd!!! The struggles of a weave/wig wearing Sistuh! Na wa o! (translation: what the what?). Honestly doesn’t matter what the circumstances of a somewhat admittedly vain girl is. Omo! (child). Babes must try small.
So, this fateful day I had just come in from a trip to the United States. I spent the day feeling kinda sick which at this point had become a regular thing for me suffering from a chronic condition. Anywho, I truly didn’t expect by morning that I would go into respiratory failure. Thankfully my Mom was visiting at the time and had the presence of mind to call an ambulance. Ok. That done, Mummy Prim & Proper is panicked that I’m not dressed with the ambulance on its way. Mom reaches into a pile of clothes and gets out some crazy looking outfit. No Mom! Can you please pass me that polka dotted dress. Also bring me my teal, lacy panties and the matching bra. By this time she’s trying so hard not to cry but to date I can’t figure out if it was from fear for my life or at my madness! I could hardly breathe at this time o! My final instructions to kindly pass me my afro wig led my Mom to use a few choice words on me. Didn’t give a hoot! I wasn’t going anywhere, respiratory failure or not without looking at least a little cute!
Got to the ER and having all the nurses and residents (especially a particularly cute male resident) pay me compliments on my amazing afro was my undoing that day! That wig was going nowhere! My real hair was a hot mess underneath.
It was still quite warm at the very start of the fall season and there were no beds except in the ER. I processed through and got a bed in a really full room. By the time I settled in I was sweating quite a bit. Mom asked if I was sure I didn’t want to take it off. No Mom! I’m good. Just turn off the lights at the top of my bed. That’s probably the issue. Time to sleep, I was thinking but these doctors aren’t done with their rounds! My overactive imagination pictured the cute Doc coming in with my wig off, me snoring ever so loudly. Ah! I can’t fall my hand o!(what a let down!). Keep the wig on babes!
Finally slept off but it was so hot in the middle of that first night I called the nurse to pretty please bring me a fan. My resolve was still firm at this point to keep that wig on come hell or high water. The next night was even worse and by 1am, my friends with my optiflow machine going strong, my resolve finally broke! Vanity upon vanity!!! With large beads of perspiration pouring down my neck and much sadness in my heart, I stretched my hand to my head and off came my glorious afro!
A very kind nurse who had complimented my lovely hair previously came by a few minutes after and asked me straight faced if I would like to have my wig put away. In a very defiant, calm voice I told her “yes, please! bag it” and the afro stayed there the rest of my hospital visit.
Lesson learned! There’s a time and place for vanity. All is vanity!
3 thoughts on “Vanity upon Vanity!”
😂😂😂😂😂…. I can actually see you adamant at looking on point…. love how you write…. definitely brought me into your story😘
This had me laughing out loud! Oh the struggle! Just the thought of that Afro is making me sweat haha
Lol!!!Girl! I’m sweating as I respond reliving that ER experience. Never again will complements send me into such a frenzy!