She Walks On

Love lifts you up, makes you smile, gives you the strength to know that you can conquer every mountain, slay every every with that one special person by your side. You feel gorgeous because you’re wanted by someone. Your smile means something to someone. Your words? Super special. Love is amazing!

The beginning of the end of love between two people who vowed to be together forever is a shock to the soul. You laughed together, ate together, slept together, dreamed dreams together. What is really going on? Strangers drifting in different directions. And then the absent mindedness starts, the smiles when texting and you know it certainly ain’t  a smile for you! Slowly best friendship turns to friendship and then turns to indifference and finally? Babe, I just can’t stand you. Wait! And the kid(s)? Oh God! What about them? How can it ever be ok?

The end of a forever love is soul shattering to say the least.

What on earth happened? The trauma! The tears! The anger! The regret! The questioning! The self doubt! To stay or to leave?! The inability to move on totally!  Will love ever find you again? Are you even worthy of being loved? Oh God!

Hindsight is stellar. Always 20/20. The zeal of youthful love is so beautiful yet sometimes so destructive. Doesn’t matter though. At some point, you make choices for you and you live with the consequences; hard as they might be.

It takes every ounce of strength and will power to wake up each day to a new reality at the end of a forever love. To understand that you face the world alone. Every problem yours alone to solve.

My girl is one of the strongest women I know. She loved. She fought. She lost. She has gained astounding strength and wisdom in the process. I draw strength from hers to keep on keeping. She is an amazing woman. I wrote this to honor all that she’s been through and all that she now is.

She walks on

She walked on as films of smoke filled her vision with her man child pulling her towards the sounds of her mothers’ drums
She walked on, panicked and wondering at the wild beat of her heart
She walked on looking back in confusion at the colors of her dreams
She walked on as her man child crowned her his queen to thunders of applause from his fathers’
She walked on as flames of fire engulfed them as he deflowered her heart as a rite of passage

He looked on as her breasts filled with milk and her belly swole ripe time and again
He looked on helpless as she called him into the colors of her dreams
He looked on broken and frozen in time as she walked on to the waters of the Nile
He looked on as the heavy waters of the Nile whipped at her feet and she strapped on her sons

She walked on treading the open waters by day as she smiled at clouds of candy so that her sons were not afraid
She walked on cutting at forests and treading on scorpions by night as they slept so that her sons were not afraid
He walked on as the winds ripped off her only cover as she walked on towards her colors for his sons

She walked on telling his sons of mythical creatures with flaming swords which they must become
She walked on with roses blooming at her feet as her sons walked on the Nile
She walked on in her colors and the sounds of her mothers’ drums

©N.A. March 2017